Proven by the Pencil

It's probably a phallic symbol

So, I don't know how to prepare the world for this… but, good people gird your loins.  We know what we will be having. 

Well… we don't actually know 100%.  Not even an ultra sound can guarantee what the sex of the baby will be.  We will be having a boy.  We know because we underwent the pencil test, both Carmen and I.

For those of you that don't know what the pencil test is, it is a very scientific process.

1. Find a Number 2 pencil with ample eraser.
2. Make sure the pencil has a point on it.
3. Straighten one curve of a paper clip.  Jam the paper clip into the eraser with a string tied onto the still-curved end of the paper clip.
4. Hold the string with the pencil hanging like a plum-blob over the wrist of the testee (no pun intended)
5. Once the pencil comes to a stop, it should start again.  If the pencil runs in a parallel direction to the forearm, it’s a boy.  If the pencil runs perpendicular to the wrist, girl.

Let me address a few FAQs

1.  How should my arm be?

--- a. Your elbow should make a 90 degree angle.

2.  What does perpendicular mean?

--- a. It runs across your wrist, like a watch

3.  What does parallel mean?

--- a.  It shouldn't be a question after the perpendicular question. 

4.  Will a mechanical pencil work?

--- a. Don't be a dumb-ass.  That's like asking Tom Selleck to be as effective in Quigley Down Under without his moustache.  It can't happen.

So let that put you all to rest.  Try it out for yourself.

Oh also, the Chinese calendar test says it’s a girl so we're pretty much covered.